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Hereās How 4 Borrowers Paid Off Their Student Loans Early
Entering adulthood and the job market for the first time with student loan debt can be stressful. But watching that debt balloon with interest as you navigate through your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond can feel completely overwhelming.
And yet thatās the experience for many borrowers. While the governmentās āstandardā repayment plan is 10 years long, many borrowers are in plans that extend their terms up to 20 years or longer. If unmanaged, the burden of student loans can weigh on your potential to build an emergency fund or jumpstart retirement savings. It can delay your ability to buy a home or reach other financial goals.
But it doesnāt have to, especially if you focus on paying your loans off swiftly, allowing you to accrue less interest than peers who only make minimum payments.
Hereās an inside look at how four borrowers paid off their student loans quickly.
Avoid ālifestyle inflationā
Who are they?
Erin Adams Chanler, 35, based in Portland, Maine
How much student loan debt did they borrow?
- Private student loans: $87,667.07 via five loans with interest rates ranging from 7.59% to 12.63%
- Federal student loans: $13,161 via four loans with interest rates ranging from 3.15% to 5.75%
- Total debt at graduation: $100,828.07
How long did it take them to pay it off?
6.5 years
Erin Adams Chanler grew up in a blue-collar family and was raised with very limited wisdom on how to manage her personal finances.
āThere was a lot of emphasis on if you work hard, you can do anything,ā Adams Chanler says. āBut there was not as much emphasis on how that might be paid for.ā
So when she attended an expensive liberal arts college, she graduated in 2012 with roughly $100,000 in debt. A postgraduate move to San Francisco ā one of the priciest places to live in the U.S. ā for a non-profit job that paid her $40,000 didnāt help with paying off her loans. But Adams Chanler says the trick to paying off her debt quickly was to avoid ālifestyle inflation,ā which is when your spending increases because your income does. She got a new job in tech with a salary that continued to increase ā $70,000 when she first got the job and $130,000 by the time her debt was gone. But she stayed living in a āless cool, less nice neighborhoodā where she was sharing a bedroom and had a long commute. She cooked at home and limited her traveling, which she loves to do. At one point, she was throwing an average of more than $3,600 per month at her student loan debt.
At times it felt isolating. Her friends who were also working in tech were moving into better apartments, going out to eat and booking flights.
āIt was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel,ā Adams Chanler said. That is, until she paid off her largest loan, which was also the one with the highest interest. āIt felt so good.ā
In hindsight, she says she wishes she had been less ashamed about her debt and more vulnerable about it. She says she thinks people in her life would have been more understanding than she feared at the time, and explaining that she was working toward paying off her loans would have made turning down costly plans more easier. But in the end, she got there ā and much faster than it often takes people to pay off $100,000.
āItās really heavy holding that much debt especially when youāre young and just starting out,ā Adams Chanler said. āI am actively grateful all the time that I donāt have that anymore.ā
Use the snowball method
Who are they?
Erik Vargas, 32, based in Memphis, Tennessee
How much student loan debt did they borrow?
- Federal student loans: $29,000 via nine loans capped at 6% interest rate due to the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act
- Total debt at graduation: $29,000
How long did it take them to pay it off?
3 years of solid work (8 years total)
When Erik Vargas decided to get married and combine his finances with his wife Amanda, the pair agreed on the first financial goal of their marriage: pay off all their debt as fast as they could. While Vargas was still paying off his car, most of their debt was student loans.
Vargas had been making the minimum payments on his $29,000 in student debt since he graduated roughly five years before they got married. Amanda had about $47,000 in student loans herself, so together, they implemented a strict budget and the snowball method. The strategy entails making minimum payments on all your debts while putting as much extra money as possible toward your smallest debt until it disappears. You then use what you were paying on your smallest debt and tackle the second-smallest debt, and continue the process until youāre debt-free. Itās a popular method because it can help you see some fast results compared to other paydown strategies.
Vargas, who worked for the Navy at the time, had nine separate loans while Amanda had two larger ones, so they were able to start seeing their progress quickly. They also had the advantage of being in lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic and benefitted from the pandemic pause on federal loans that put interest at 0%. Traveling, eating out with friends and most of their usual activities were off limits, and they were able to put the money they would have spent on fun toward their loans.
They identified their recurring bills ā internet, rent, appliances and their cell phones ā then allotted a certain amount of money for fun and the rest went to debt payments. (They still use this method, though now the money that would have gone toward loans goes into savings for a house). The stimulus checks that they received from the federal government during the pandemic went straight toward paying off their loans. If they wanted to do something specific, like a ski trip, they would save for it while making sure they were also making progress on their student loans.
āThe last two big loans that we had were probably the hardest to get through,ā Vargas says. The couple was able to tackle several smaller loans every few weeks, but then they got bigger and bigger. āIt just became a slog at the end.ā
But in 2023, Vargas and his wife finally hit the debt-free milestone ā and they even appeared on popular personal finance guru Dave Ramseyās radio show to celebrate it.
Find the positive in your lifestyle changes
Who are they?
Evan Louey-Dacus, 23, based out of New York City
How much student loan debt did they borrow?
- Federal student loans: $11,000 (two loans with interest rates of 3.48% and 4.74%)
- Total debt at graduation: $11,000
How long did it take them to pay it off?
1 year and 1 month
When Evan Louey-Dacus graduated from college with $11,000 in student loans and moved into his own place, his new job fell through. He found himself with rent to pay and no income, and he accrued interest on his student loans for around four months before he made his first payment.
But at the end of 2023, he landed a new job in marketing for corporate events and started aggressively paying down his loans, earmarking a quarter of his paychecks ā and sometimes up to a third ā every month for debt.
āDebt dictates dependency,ā Louey-Dacus says. āIf I had student debt it meant that I was dependent on the government in some way and I donāt want to be any more dependent on the government than I absolutely have to.ā
His father is the child of Chinese immigrants and both his parents are entrepreneurs, so Louey-Dacus says he was raised in an environment that emphasized frugality. That mindset motivated him to pay down his debt quickly.
āI had to humble myself and get used to the fact that my life was not going to be super extravagant or built on the schedule that I had in mind until that loan was paid down,ā Louey-Dacus says. For instance, he set the heat on a timer so it would only run at night and not rack up a huge bill. But he also found the positive in having to make such a lifestyle shift: a love for cooking.
Louey-Dacus says he stopped eating out and almost exclusively made his own meals at home. While he had cooked prior to leaving his parentsā home and having student debt, it wasnāt something that had been tied to his identity before.
āNow that I had to do it on a regular basis to affordably feed myself, I really started to enjoy it,ā he says. āI didnāt consider myself a cook, but now I do ā and I donāt think I would have done that as quickly if I didnāt have student debt to pay down.ā
That love for cooking paid off. Louey-Dacus just scheduled his last debt payment.
Consider side gigs and refinancing
Who are they?
Brett Holzhauer, 31, based in Fort Lauderdale, Florida
How much student loan debt did they borrow?
- Private student loans: $72,669 with an interest rate of around 7%
- Total debt at graduation: $72,669
How long did it take them to pay it off?
7 years
When Brett Holzhauer graduated from college with roughly $73,000 in private student loan debt, he was looking for balance. He wanted to pay down his debt quickly, but he didnāt want to completely upend his lifestyle.
He turned to side gigs to generate extra income he could pay toward his debt. Holzhauer delivered groceries via Instacart, resold items online and picked up freelance writing projects . He sometimes made as much as $5,000 a month.
But Holzhauer says another key to finally paying off his debt was refinancing, which essentially replaces your loan with a new one that (ideally) comes with a smaller interest rate.
āItās not the balance thatās the evil, itās the interest rate,ā Holzhauer says.
His first refinance was in 2016 with SoFi, and he was able to lower his interest rate from around 7% to 5.34% (coincidentally, he later briefly worked for SoFi). He then refinanced three more times over a roughly three-year period, getting his loan down to 2.2%. He later unofficially ārefinancedā by having his then father-in-law pay off his student loans that he would pay back without interest. When he had to pay that back ahead of schedule after he and his wife divorced, he took out a personal line of credit with a 2.25% interest rate to pay off the remainder of his debt.
āI just started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel become brighter and brighter and was like āWait a second, I can kind of play this game and really get [the rate] down,āā Holzhauer says. āI was extremely proactive. I was checking every couple months to see if there was any way I could keep whittling this thing down.ā
In the end, he did. Holzhauer, who now writes about small business full time for Biz2Credit, an online financing platform for small business, has been free of his student debt for a couple years. He paid off his last loans just before he turned 29, reaching the goal of having no student loan debt by his 30th birthday that heād set at graduation.
Editorās note: While SoFi is the sponsor of this story, Money reported and wrote this story, including the section with a former SoFi employee, without any influence from the company.
More from Money:
How to Pay Off Student Loans Fast
9 Million Student Loan Borrowers Will Soon Take a āSignificantā Credit Score Hit
5 Tips to Get the Lowest Interest Rate When Refinancing Your Student Loans
Winemaker Laurent Delaunay: Spotlighting the House of Edouard Delaunay
Laurent Delaunay, representing the fifth generation of a family of winemakers and negociants, is reappropriating his familyās history. Though it had progressively declined over the last several years, the House of Edouard Delaunay, an old Maison with a rich and unique history, has always been closely connected to the Burgundy wine trade and was considerably involved in the epic intercontinental expansion the industry experienced throughout the entire 20th century. Bought back in 2017 by Laurent Delaunay, the great-grandson of the founder, it strives to regain its place within the inner circle of the great houses of Burgundy through the meticulous and precise vinification and ageing of exceptional wines from some of Burgundyās finest terroirs.
Could you tell us about your youth and your early connection to winemaking?Ā
Our family has been in winemaking since the 19th century. Delaunay has been a well-established name in Burgundy across the whole of the 20th century. I grew up with my father and my grandfather in the cellar and the vineyards and I started to work there with my father in 1989 after my studies in the US (Napa Valley). After a few years we were obliged to sell for various reasons. One was that my father was ill with Alzheimerās disease, so he made some wrong decisions in terms of investments. The other reason was that it was in the early 1990s, and the economic situation became very complicated with the cost of oil going up with the first Gulf War. The business was therefore sold in a friendly transaction to a leading Burgundy negociant.
This then led you to new adventures in winemaking right?
Indeed! I stayed with the new owners for a couple of years, but I decided to branch out in 1995 with my wife Catherine, also a trained oenologist. We wanted to recover our independence, so we left and started our own company in the south of France. This is how we started Badet ClĆ©ment to make wine in the Languedoc, RhĆ“ne Valley and Provence. The company became known for its āLes Jamellesā brand of varietal wines from Pays dāOc, its high-end label Abbotts & Delaunay, and for selling more than 15 million bottles of wine around the world. It was a boom time in the south of France in the 1990s. Yet I always kept the dream of coming back to Burgundy and creating my own brand, my own range there.
Tell us about your return to Burgundy.
It is an amazing twist of life. The first step came in 2003 when our company Badet ClĆ©ment purchased DVP (Domaines & Vins de PropriĆ©tĆ©), which distributes Burgundian domains. But the big step actually came in 2017 whenĀ we purchased the Edouard Delaunay brand name from the Burgundy negociant we had sold the brand to back in 1993 and some other buildings from relatives. We carried out extensive refurbishment at the chĆ¢teau (ChĆ¢teau de Charmont), which dates from the 19th century, the vaulted cellars and the buildings next door, which date from the 1950s and 60s and have been renovated in the style of factories from the 1920s and 30s. The metal beams and pillars, for example, are reminiscent of the metalwork usedĀ in the Eiffel Tower.
Looks like it is a dream which came true for you.
Indeed, this has been a project very close to my heart and a dream that has come true. My grandfather used to say that the House of Edouard Delaunay was āthe smallest of the great Housesāā. My ambition is to return it to its former glory and make Edouard Delaunay a leading Burgundian wine house once more. We are on the right track to achieving such a goal.
What was it like to start from scratch in 2017 again and produce your first cuvee later on?
As mentioned, the first thing needed in January 2017 was to restore the chĆ¢teau and winery in time for that yearās harvest.Ā Next, we needed to put together a team, and I was able to hire a young and talented winemaker, Christophe Briotet. But the most complicated was finding grapes as we didnāt have our own vineyards.Ā We were fortunate to have many friends and family members in the trade and obviously our connections with many small producers thanks to Badet-ClĆ©mentās DVP marketing arm really helped us.Ā I was highly surprised that so many of them accepted our offer to buy their grapes, but then they all saw it as our āRenaissanceā (rebirth), and for them it was also an amazing and rather unique story. A family that had ventured a few regions away and who was then truly back to Burgundy!
You have mentioned several times the importance of packaging and service to clients. Do you feel that you have actually adopted the codes of luxury Houses?Ā
This is correct. From 2018 onwards all ranges of Edouard Delaunay wines have come inĀ āluxuryā packaging. We have paid a lot of attention to packaging because in Burgundy the wines are expensive and so it means that ā worldwide and especially in Asia ā people who can afford Burgundy wines are also people who purchase luxury goods. I feel that in Burgundy, very often, we pay a lot of attention to the quality of the wine but all that is around the wine ā the packaging and the service ā is not of the same quality. We wish to change that specific perception. We actually take our inspiration from Champagne or Cognac for the packaging as well as for the servicing and marketing to the consumers.
Do you have any expansion plans?
In Burgundy, we see the Hautes CĆ“tes as a prime place for expansion, especially because of its high altitude which makes the grapes less prone to weather problems. The Hautes have actually much-unplanted land that is not classified and we can see the eventual production of single-vineyard wines from the region.
What are the key drivers which you follow daily?
My philosophy is all about listening, reading the terroir and the vinesā condition; trying to understand, and gently accompanying the natural evolution of the wine.
You have been elected president of the BIVB, theĀ Burgundy Wine Board. What has been your key message to the BIVB members?
The need to keep track of trends in the wine trade worldwide. The need to understand the impact of climate change on the Burgundy region. I also keep stressing the need for Burgundy to keep open lines of communication with customers and the duty of the region to practice social responsibility.Ā On a lighter tone, I also wish that people across the globe know how to pronounce Bourgogne and not only Burgundy.
How do you view Burgundy wine lovers in Asia versus European or American regular Burgundy wine drinkers? How do their taste or requests differ?Ā
My grandfather established a presence in Singapore as early as 1932. Asia and Asian consumers have always been highly regarded in our family. I am very impressed by the level of knowledge Asian drinkers have about Burgundy. The US market has been a leading purchaser of Burgundy wines for over a century, yet Asia is catching up fast, and the wine audience is avid to learn and understand our complicated region classification. It is quite refreshing for a winemaker to know that the ultimate consumer knows what he or she is drinking.
Talking about Asia, tell us more about Badet-ClĆ©mentās presence in this part of the world?
Badet-ClƩment has a regional bureau in Hong Kong with a highly active, experienced and mobile team headed by Olivier Hui-Bon-Hoa. We also have a presence in Singapore, South Korea, Japan, China, Vietnam and lately in the Philippines.
Have you seen the 2017 movie by Cedric Klapisch āCe qui nous Lieā (āBack To Burgundyā)? How did you personally react to that movie set in Burgundy and focusing on inheritance issues?Ā
My wife and myself truly enjoyed Cedric Klapischās movie āCe qui nous Lieā. It is a movie that is very touching for the local community because the story it tells is very realistic. Every wine-growing family has had to face the difficulty of arranging the transmission of the estate to the next generation, and it is a challenge we all must live with, especially at a time of rising land prices (inheritance taxes are on the high side in France). Cedric Klapisch shows these difficulties in a very straightforward light.
Your career and overall entrepreneurship story is amazing, have you got anything you wish to work on?
Yes, speaking in public. But I have progressed rather well on that matter by taking courses at the famed Cours Florent in Paris.
If you were to name someone who has influenced you in your career as an entrepreneur, whom would that be?
I learned a lot in terms of entrepreneurship and business from Jean-Claude Boisset, one of the smartest wine entrepreneurs I have met.
I also learned a lot from Aubert de Villaine. What I like is not only his wine philosophy but his life philosophy. I appreciate that he is not only one of the most emblematic producers of Burgundy but he has a vision, his thinking is across several generations, and he is very sensitive of the fact that in a traditional region likeĀ Burgundy, we do not inherit, we simply pass the land on. This gives you a vision and a perspective across centuries. You have to think and consider the consequences in the long term.
Website: www.edouard-delaunay.com
Contact details: Gabriel Camphuis ā gabriel.camphuis@edouard-delaunay.com
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Inside Hong Kongās Unique Design Scene
In a city of exciting contrasts, designers get creative with craft and culture, merging styles and solutions, writes Angela Hui
Organic materials and lines at M.R. Studioās 1111 Ones Restaurant & Lounge. Photograph: Steven Ko
Every March, the global art fair Art Basel takes over Hong Kong, bringing together collectors, travelers, designers and artists from around the worldāand highlighting the cityās unique creative identity. Hong Kong is one of the worldās best examples of the confluence between east and west: where old meets new, temples stand alongside skyscrapers and tong lau walk-up tenement buildings live next to shiny penthouses.
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Escaping a Toxic Relationship: My Intuition Was Right All Along
āOwning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.ā ~BrenĆ© Brown
What is the exact point when you realize you are in a toxic relationship? For me, it was a process that took almost a year. I thought I was mindful and āawake.ā I did have an internal dialogue with myself, but I had a thick layer of deception around me. Today, I call it a fog because Iām on the other side, and I see much more clearly.
Looking back, I see that my inner voice was guiding me, but I saw it as self-sabotage then because a part of me wanted to prove that I was right, that I was worthy, that I was a good and kind person who only wanted love and family. Unfortunately, the more I looked to get love from the outside world, the further I was from the source.
Today, I can confidently say that I can sense the difference between my intuition and the distracting voice of my ego, who wants to be right. Now I can finally hear what my inner guide is telling me. But it wasnāt always this way.
As a result of the separation from the toxic relationship, I lost everything. I had to give up my old lifestyle to save my soul. I had to let go of my home and all my belongings, escaping with just one bag of clothes and my laptop.
I lost money in a property settlement and had no car or place to live. I found a refuge in a womenās shelter with my eight-month-old baby and started my new life from a humble place. But I found something through all thisāa connection to my inner voice, a connection that gave me the strength to accept the loss, own my story, and say goodbye to the old version of myself. And Iād like to share with you the process.
September 2021
Me: Wow, this is beautiful! Iāve always wanted to try new things. I can get used to this kind of life. I feel this thrill in my tummy. Itās fun, itās exciting, itās new! What is this? Love?
My inner self (very quietly): This is a carousel.
Me: Well, I donāt know what youāre talking about. This is fun. He already said he loves me. I told him itās too early to say that; we barely know each other. So, I asked him why heās in love with me. And do you know what he said? āBecause you are you.ā He gets me; finally, someone who loves me for who I truly am. No doubt, no proving. Iām so lucky.
My inner self (very quietly): Watch outāitās too good to be true.
Me: I donāt know what youāre talking about. Iām finally alive again. This is it. I think Iām in love with him too. He already wants to move in together and have a child. He chose me, and Iām so excited. So please stop being so negative and let me lead.
Six months quiet
Me: Heās what I wanted. Heās spiritual and he meditates. He looks after himself, and heās so assertive and ambitious. He listens to me when I talk. But then when I ask for something, he says, āI think you should check your energy before you speak to me.ā Itās really confusing. There are ups and downs, but I guess every relationship is like thisā¦ (very quietly): Isnāt it?
My inner self (very quietly): No.
Me: What do you know? You havenāt even had a healthy relationship before, so how would you know?
My inner self (lovingly): Neither have you, sweetheart.
Me: Well, to be honest, I feel like I canāt get a word in sometimes. Itās never a good time to mention things that are important to me, or he just dismisses the topic quickly, and I donāt know how to introduce it again.
I guess I just have to get better at communicating. Letās do some courses for that. I always get this feeling in my stomachāmassive pain, like a black hole, when I sense Iām losing him, and I fear that Iāll die not having him in my life. I can only calm down when I know things are good between us and when he hugs me again.
Iāll just lean in with more love and kindness, and Iāll figure it out. Heāll see how much I love him even though heās stressed and doesnāt have time for me anymore. Heāll see that Iām here for him through good and bad, and then heāll be here for me when I need it. Iām sure we just hit a rough patch, and all will be good again soon.
Actually, stop being so negative. I have everything Iāve always wanted. Now, with the baby on the way, weāll make such a wonderful family, and Iāll see what a great father heāll be and how much fun weāll have.
Six months later
Me: Itās still kind of up and down, isnāt it? Some days things go well and weāre happy, but then comes a big fall. One day he says that Iām the best partner heās ever had because all his exes are crazy. Other days, he comments really hurtfully on what I say or who my friends are. And it goes round and round.
My inner self (very quietly): Like on that wheel?
Me: What wheel? The Power and Control Wheel I saw? Nah, not like that. I wouldnāt do that to myself. I was already in an emotionally abusive relationship, and I wouldnāt be so stupid as to repeat it.
Things are fine. I just need to be nicer to him. Itās kind of my fault. It must be my hormones. It will pass after the birth. Heāll be with us at home, and weāll restore the peace and calm. Easy. I feel so much love for him. I wonāt ruin this relationship by being too sensitive. Iāve got this. Iāll do more visualizations and affirmations.
Three months later
Me: Hello, are you there? Iām so confused. I think Iām losing my mind.
My inner self (very quietly): I know, honey.
Me: Whatās going on? My life is a mess. I donāt know what to do. I donāt know why Iām ruining everything all the time. I used to be fun, happy, and confidentā¦ Now all I feel is disoriented and dizzy.
My inner self: A bit like on a carousel?
Me: No, Iām not. I told youāheās helping me. Heās the best. I want him. I donāt have anyone else. And I love him so much I canāt imagine my life without him. Itās impossible. Heās got all the money, heās signed on the lease, the car is under his name, and Iām not even employedā¦
My inner self (patiently): Alright, honey. Go again. Iāll be here when you need me.
Two months later
Me: I donāt recognize my life or myself anymore. Everything is kind of fuzzy. Iāve had this headache for the last week or so. I canāt feel or think clearly; I canāt feel my body. Iām unwell.
My inner self: I know, my dear.
Me: Whatās going on? Please help me, someone.
My inner self (very quietly): You are on a carousel.
Me: Why do you keep repeating that? I told you heās helping. Well, sometimes. Heās just a bit stressed, but itās also my fault because Iām not as much fun as I used to be. I donāt know why I feel so numb or why I canāt just laugh anymore.
Heās the only person left. I donāt see anyone else anymore. Iām scared to speak to anyone; no one would believe me anyway. My life is so extreme compared to last year, with court cases and police and debts and signing documents I donāt understand. What am I doing wrong? Why is this happening to me?
My inner self (barely loud enough to hear): Have you noticed the same things happening over and over?
Me: Yes. But Iād die not having him. Stop telling me heās the problem when I know Iām the problem.
One month later
Me: Are you there?
My inner self: Of course.
Me: The same things are happening over and over again. I thought he was helping and that I was crying every night because Iām depressed and I have so much drama in my life, but I donāt bring up any of that. He always talks and talks until I feel like the worst person in the world.
The other day he came to me with an idea to have children with other women because he wants more kids than I can give him since Iām turning forty this year. He claims itās because more women should have children with such fantastic genetic material. This is too much for me, and itās not getting better but harder and faster. But how do I get out? Please help!
My inner self: Are you ready?
Me: I think so.
My inner self: Then jump.
Me: Where?
My inner self: Off the carousel, sweetie.
Me: Can you slow it down, please!? This is going to hurt.
My inner self (most lovingly): It will, honey, but you are not alone. Iām here. I will guide you and help you heal.
And so I did.
Four Takeaways from Those Conversations with My Intuition
First: Intuition is usually quiet, gentle, and subtle. I recommend going back in your memory and noticing when you heard your intuition. What was the quality and the tone? What else can you notice and learn about it?
Second: Intuition doesnāt argue. It often disappears when you disbelieve or argue back. Itās very sensitive to criticism and attitude, meaning what seems to be right or more logical or more convenient. If you want to be guided by intuition, you have to let go of thinking that you āknow.ā
Third: It grows stronger if you connect with it like your life depends on it. If you surrender and quiet your overthinking, you will be surprised by how quickly your intuition can guide you to where you need to go.
Fourth: Your relationship with your intuition is like any other relationship; it needs time, care, and attention to build it solid. But once you do, youāll have an invaluable asset for life.
About Ivana Care
Ivana is a life and transformation coach and a certified Root-Cause Therapy Practitioner. With a trauma-informed approach, she helps women navigate life after separation or divorce, guiding them to release heavy emotions, reconnect with their intuition, and rebuild their self-worth. By addressing the original imprints of past wounds, Ivana supports her clients in removing layers of self-doubt and shame and gaining the clarity they need to move forward. Visit her at ivana.care.com.
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7 Lessons My Mom Taught Me That Every Young Man Needs to Hear
Growing up in a family of educators isnāt easy.
My dad is a history teacher, and my mom is a high school principal. From the outside, it sounds like the perfect environment to grow up in but thereās pressure. People assume that the children of teachers are naturally well-behaved, intelligent, and driven. And while those things can be true, thereās also a quiet struggle that comes with trying to meet expectations that arenāt your own.
One of the most important things Iāve learned is this: you have to create your own identity. You canāt live your life trying to impress others or chasing validation. Instead, you have to focus on self-education and build a life based on who you want to become.
Here are seven life lessons I learned from my mom that helped shape the person I am today.
1. Teach Your Future Children How to Read and Write
Before I even started formal education, I already knew how to read and write and thatās thanks to my mom.
Reading is the foundation of all learning. If you can read well, you have access to a world of knowledge from experts in any field. It also saves you time by helping you understand new ideas more quickly.
Writing, despite what many believe, is a skill you can develop at any age. Charles Bukowski didnāt start writing poetry until he was 35. So, itās never too late to begin.
Why good writing matters:
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It sharpens your communication skills.
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It helps you clarify and organize your thoughts.
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It allows you to tell compelling stories.
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It opens doors to better career opportunities.
The best opportunities will always go to the best communicators.
2. Pursue Mastery, Not Just Short-Term Wins
My mom started as a math teacher and eventually became a high school principal. She completed her masterās degree in her 40s and has over 20 years of experience in education. Her growth wasnāt fast but it was deep and lasting.
Mastery takes time. Itās not about shortcuts or chasing instant success. Itās about building a solid foundation that lasts.
Steps toward mastery:
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Find a mentor who can guide you and challenge your weaknesses.
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Read deeply in your area of interest to gain specialized knowledge.
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Apply what youāve learned by starting real-world projects.
Mastery is a long game. Itās built through years of learning, failing, improving, and showing up with a great attitude.
3. Lead Your Family with Both Authority and Kindness
My mom leads with strength and compassion. She believes in teamwork in marriage and in raising children with intention. Sheās firm, but fair. Disciplined, but loving.
She taught us that real education isnāt just what you learn in books, itās learning through your own mistakes and experiences.
What I learned about parenting from her:
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Always give honest answers when your children ask questions.
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Encourage your kids to try new things, itās how they discover what they love.
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Reinforce positive behavior with meaningful rewards.
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Teach strong values, because values shape success.
Perfection is not the goal, growth is.
4. Master Public Speaking, Even If Youāre an Introvert
My mom once told me, āI had my own world when I was still a student.ā Sheās a natural introvert and was an academic scholar in college but youād never know it by the way she speaks in public.
She commands attention. She inspires. And most importantly, she connects with people.
How to become a better speaker:
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Slow down! Speaking calmly conveys confidence.
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Know your audience and speak to their needs.
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Practice your talk so it feels natural and professional.
Introversion isnāt a barrier. Itās a superpower if you know how to use it.
5. Be On Time. Always.
My mom has zero tolerance for being late. If we were late for school, my dad would definitely hear about it.
She believes that punctuality is a reflection of your character. You can have expensive clothes, fancy gadgets, and impressive credentials but if you canāt manage your time, none of it matters.
How to stay ahead of the game:
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Master writing and communication itās an edge most people ignore.
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Create systems to eliminate distractions and streamline your workflow.
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Invest in personal development; buy courses, learn new skills, and level up.
Time is the one thing you canāt buy back. Spend it wisely.
6. Make Time for Your Family
Even after a long day, my mom would come home and check on us, ask about our assignments, our day, our friends.
As a teenager, I was obsessed with video games. She didnāt love that. But even though I spent hours gaming, I still graduated with an English degree. And funny enough, the same strategic thinking I used in video games taught me how to approach life like a challenge worth mastering.
Hereās the truth:
If you donāt make time for your kids, theyāll look for attention elsewhere and it wonāt always come from the right places.
7. Surround Yourself with People Who Push You to Grow
My mom has a wide circle of successful friends: politicians, entrepreneurs, fellow educators. She goes to training events, workshops, and conferences not to show off, but to keep learning.
Networking isnāt about popularity, itās about growth. Itās about finding people who challenge your thinking and share your values.
Want to grow faster?
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Spend time with people who are smarter than you.
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Ask questions that spark meaningful conversations.
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Be willing to listen, not just speak.
Skills are earned through repetition, curiosity, and surrounding yourself with people who raise your standards.
Final Thoughts
Having an educated family doesnāt guarantee success, it gives you tools, but you still have to do the work. You have to decide what kind of life you want to build.
My mom never pushed me to be perfect. She pushed me to be curious, consistent, and kind. And that made all the difference.
Let these lessons guide you whether youāre a parent, student, or just someone trying to build a life of purpose.
The post 7 Lessons My Mom Taught Me That Every Young Man Needs to Hear appeared first on Addicted 2 Success.